The Wizard, made in 1989, was a movie that tried to realize every kid of the era’s wet dream: traveling the open road, free from your parents, doing nothing but playing video games and earning cash. This movie is remembered best for its numerous video game references and blatant product placement and commercialism, but in all honesty, video games only factor into a portion of the actual plot.
Jimmy Woods (Luke Edwards) is a little boy with a strange fixation on “California”. He continuously runs away and gradually withdraws deeper and deeper into himself. Jimmy’s parents want to have him institutionalized, but Jimmy’s older brother, Corey (Fred Savage), won’t stand for it. Corey and Jimmy run away and head for California. Corey’s older brother, Nick (Christian Slater), and their father (Beau Bridges), chase after them across country, but have to contend with a bounty hunter who specializes in catching runaway children. While on the road, Jimmy and Corey meet up with Haley (Jenny Lewis), a streetwise young girl who helps them along their way. While traveling the open road, they discover that Jimmy is a video game prodigy (or as they call him, a “Wizard”) and decide to enter him into the Video Armageddon tournament in Los Angeles, where the prize is $50,000. But Jimmy has a lot of stiff competition, and getting there won’t be easy.
The video game angle is really just a backdrop for all the personal drama and family troubles, giving the impression that this is more than just a Nintendo commercial, as most people think of it. The talent assembled for the flick is really pretty good, to be honest. He may get a lot of jokes hurled his way these days, but in all sincerity, Fred Savage was a genuinely *good* child actor. Christian Slater does his usual “Jack Nicholson-lite” while Beau Bridges plays the determined and caring father nicely. It isn’t until the second half, really, that things start becoming heavily focused on spotlighting video games.
And, of course, that’s the real draw of this movie; the video game nostalgia. There’s Double Dragon, Ninja GaiDAN!!, Castlevania 2: Simon’s Quest, Super Mario Bros 2 and plenty more. Also, there’s the one game people remember most from this movie, the world premiere of Super Mario Bros 3. The Super Mario Bros 3 sequence at the end is a little irksome, mostly because they keep getting several facts wrong (this coming from a guy whose played the game about a million times), like calling World 1 Level 3 “World 2”, or Jimmy just somehow knowing exactly where the warp whistle in the fortress was (the only way people found THAT out was by reading Nintendo Power). And speaking of Nintendo Power, there are lots of references to it and the Nintendo Tips hotline.
But who could forget possibly the most dated video game element of the movie, the Power Glove. One of the movie’s “villains”, a rival video game pro named Lucas, uses the Power Glove to demonstrate how badass he is. He even goes so far as to say “I love the Power Glove. It’s so bad.” Oh, it was bad alright. *Real* bad.
The Wizard is a good kid’s movie but with limited appeal. Even with the recent DVD release it still falls below the radar of most sane human beings, only being remembered fondly by the gamer crowd. Still, if you’re a video gamer who was around during the reign of the NES and the existence of actual arcades which didn’t cater solely to the DDR crowd, then you’ll get a kick out of this movie. And even if you weren’t around at the time, if you like retro gaming then you’ll enjoy this.
The Wizard gets a B-. The story is pretty good for a kid’s take on “Rain Man”. The video game references are a great bonus.
Grade: B-
The Return of Swamp Thing
There’s a big division amongst the Swamp Thing fanbase as to which film they prefer, the original or the sequel (that would be this movie, right here). On a personal note, I prefer the Return of Swamp Thing over the first attempt. While it is most-definitely a more tongue-in-cheek dark comedy, it has better special effects and the self-referential humor makes it more amusing than the original, which was just a hands-down bad movie which tried to take itself too seriously.
Following-up on the events of the last installment, Dr. Alec Holland-turned-Swamp Thing is lurking in the Louisiana swamps, protecting the innocent but lamenting in his solitude. The evil Anton Arcane (Louis Jourdan) has apparently survived the events of the previous film and seeks revenge on Swamp Thing. He invites his niece, Abigail (Heather Locklear), who has a creepy love of plants, to come visit him, as he has various nefarious plans for her. Swamp Thing rescues Abby from the clutches of Arcane and the two develop a budding romance (see that? That was a pun). Arcane won’t yet admit defeat, and he unleashes his freakish Un-men on the Louisiana swamplands.
I have a soft spot for this movie, as it’s what got me into Swamp Thing when I was a lad. This movie is an improvement over the original in nearly every category, from directing to special effects to overall fun. Swamp Thing’s costume is considerably more detailed than it was in the original and hardly as embarrassing in broad daylight as that green latex pile of crap from the first film. Swamp Thing looks very soggy and very…swampy. Dick Durock’s skill at playing the character finally shines in this film, as he has a better costume to work with. During the 80’s and early 90’s, he was Swamp Thing. The live action TV series on USA helped. The costumes for the Un-Men are, well, “Power Rangers”-quality, at least when seen in a bright room. The leech-monster looks good-enough, and his fight with Swamp Thing is enjoyable.
The film never takes itself seriously, with lots of self-referential humor that pokes fun at the ridiculous-nature (another pun!) of the story. The only bit of “humor” that irked me were the two kids that showed up through-out the movie making stupid one-liners and observations. They were very annoying, though the scene where they watch music videos on Mtv takes me back to the good ole days.
I also feel obligated to mention that the beginning of Return of Swamp Thing is one of my favorite opening sequences from any comic book movie. It starts out with a bunch of hunters in the swamp getting picked-off one-by-one by that leech monster, Swamp Thing coming to their rescue, then helping the nerdy hunter find his glasses and introducing himself; “They call me…Swamp Thing”. It’s then followed up the opening credits done to a montage of art from the comic combined with my *favorite* Creedance Clearwater Revival song, “Born on the Bayou”. Man, do I love that opening; it’s my favorite part of the movie.
Now, for the fans of the comic, I will say that the sequel is a *bit* truer to the source material then the first film; tongue-in-cheek atmosphere not-withstanding. Heather Locklear doesn’t play a very good Abigail Arcane, as Abby was anything but a dimwitted bimbo in the comics. Still, she serves as a much better (and more accurate) love-interest for Swampy than “Alice Cable” from the first film. Incidentally, the character Alice Cable was based off of, Matt Cable, was married to Abigail for a little while in the comic. Weird. Return of Swamp Thing was made in 1989, after the Alan Moore era of the comic, so a few of his influences creep in there (though they’re intensely watered-down). Swamp Thing can now survive bodily destruction, just like in the comic, and can “teleport”…sorta. In the movie, he reduces himself to a puddle of algae and travels through sewer systems before reconstructing his body. It’s much simpler than in the comic, but the visuals are rather good.
The Return of Swamp Thing won’t please everyone, but it does have its moments and it’s a MUCH better Swamp Thing film than the last movie. I’d give it a C+.
Grade: C+
Lupin III: the Castle of Cagliostro
There have been lots of Lupin III the movies, and there have been lots of Hayao Miyazaki movies, but there’s only been one movie where the two flavors have combined to forge a veritable Recess Peanut Buttercup of cinematic flavor. Hayao Miyazaki had had years of experience working on previous Lupin III television shows, so his firm grasp on the characters shines magnificently in this film. However, one does not have to be a Lupin III-fan to enjoy this movie. As a matter of fact, you don’t even need to know who Lupin III is. Castle of Cagliostro is an animated masterpiece one can watch with the entire family (except maybe the really little ones).
Lupin III is the world’s greatest thief. Along with his partner and super marksman, Jigen, the pair travel to the isolated European country of Cagliostro to get to the bottom of a century’s old counterfeiting ring. Things are never so simple when it comes to Lupin, though. The greedy Count of Cagliostro wants Lupin dead so that he won’t interrupt his marriage to the young Princess Clarisse, who is the key to uncovering the country’s ancient treasure. Lupin makes it his mission to uncover the counterfeiting scheme, save the Princess and defeat the Count all at once. Complicating matters, though, is the arrival of Interpol’s Inspector Zenigata, who will stop at nothing to arrest Lupin. Lupin and Jigen have their work cut-out for them, so they get help from the Japanese swordsman, Goemon, and the femme fatale, Fujiko.
The Castle of Cagliostro, like many of Miyazaki’s films, feels like a timeless classic as you watch it. It hits upon numerous “fairy tale” themes, like a noble thief rescuing a beautiful Princess from a dangerous castle, yet in true Lupin III spirit, has a manic pace coupled with lots of crazy humor. Made in 1979, it was one of Miyazaki’s earliest films, and while it doesn’t contain the level of detail and nuance that his future endeavors would be known for, it has a quality to it that seems light-years ahead of its time.
The animation from TMS (Tokyo Movie Shinsha) is very impressive, considering the age of the film, and holds up extremely well to today’s standards. There are maybe one or two noticeable animation errors, but nothing to pull one out of the experience.
The characters are just as important as Miyazaki’s direction in regards to the success of this film. Even if one is not acquainted with the volumes of material and extensive background histories that go with each character, it’s easy to appreciate them all for their individual quirks and special talents. While the bulk of the film is dedicated to Lupin and Clarisse, Miyazaki makes sure to give each classic Lupin character their own time to shine. Goemon might come out the weakest of the bunch, receiving maybe two lines total in the entire movie, but the quiet-approach is true to character and he gets some of the flashiest moves in. Jigen, my personal favorite member of the Lupin crew, is a total riot in this film and participates in some of its best moments.
The Japanese voice track, featuring the late Yamada Yasuo (Lupin) as well as Kobayashi Kiyoshi (Jigen) and Naya Goro (Zenigata), is classic. Each actor has been voicing the characters for decades and little else sounds more natural. The English dub provided on the Manga Video DVD release is actually very good, with voices that lived up to my expectations. While Pioneer has the best English cast for Lupin III (there are numerous different dubbing studios doing the plethora of available Lupin material, which is very annoying), the Manga Video cast take a more serious approach to the characters which fits in with the tone of the film perfectly. While I love the Pioneer cast, they work better with the goofier Lupin material, and this film is anything but a dirty slapstick comedy like other Lupin III movies.
The Castle of Cagliostro is one of my favorite animated films ever, and the best piece of Lupin III animation ever produced. The animation is impressive, the story is timeless, the characters are memorable and the direction is outstanding. While there is some blood and a few curse words, it’s more than suitable for a crowd that can handle PG-rated movies. I’d recommend it for the whole family.
Grade: A
Click
You know, there’s one thing they don’t tell you in the commercials for this Adam Sandler-driven comedy: Click is, in reality, a remake of “It’s a Wonderful Life”. I suppose nothing is safe from remakes in Hollywood these days, but this really came out of left field. On the bright side, I have to admit, the writers put a real twist on the It’s a Wonderful Life concept, making it less of a remake and more of a “re-imagining”.
In this story, Adam Sandler plays an overworked father and couch potato named Michael Newman. His life is boring, exhausting, and despite all the good things he does, he can never catch a break. One night, while looking for a new universal remote at a Bed, Bath & Beyond, he stumbles upon the “Beyond” section and meets a mad scientist played by Christopher Walken. The scientist offers him a universal remote than can control his entire universe. Sandler wastes no time in using the powers of the remote carelessly, fast forwarding through “boring” parts of his life so he can get straight to the rewards; all at the expense of alienating himself from his family. However, the remote turns out to be self-programming, and before he knows it, his life is almost over. And while he is a successful businessman towards the end, he no longer has a loving family to show for it.
The idea of controlling reality with a remote doesn’t sound very clever, we’ve all wished we could shut someone up with a “mute” button or “fast forward” through a work day, etc. However, the director (Frank Coraci) manages to craft numerous gags revolving around the concept that are both expected and clever. He uses functions like “picture on picture” to watch a baseball game while his wife nags at him, the “menu” key to select audio commentary about moments in his life, the “chapter” selection to highlight his greatest moments, and so on. It’s mostly very unique and you won’t see a lot of the jokes coming.
However, the movie seemed rather mis-marketed as a comedy. It’s funny for about the first half until Sandler realizes the consequences of abusing the remote and putting work and success before family and friends. After that, it becomes rather depressing as his life spirals out of control and his family ceases to love him. There are many moving scenes, the best being his last interaction with his father (Henry Winkler) before he passes away from old age. This is where the “It’s a Wonderful Life” angle really starts to become obvious. The “serious” half of the movie is done rather well, but it leaves the film feeling pretty uneven; you were promised a comedy but “duped” into seeing a drama. Also, Adam Sandler just doesn’t do “serious” very well, and often times the scenes that are supposed to be pulling at your heartstrings have you rolling your eyes, because Sandler just sounds like he’s doing another one of his goofy characters.
Click isn’t a terrible movie, and it’s honestly not a bad re-imagining of It’s a Wonderful Life. The movie is just very unbalanced and for something marketed as a comedy, isn’t always that funny. It gets a C. A decent film, but nothing you’re really gonna remember.
Grade: C
Troll 2
Have I ever told you youngens about “Troll 2”? Why, “what’s Troll 2”, you say? Well, it just happens to be, hands-down, the worst movie ever made anywhere on the entire planet. In fact, it’s *so* bad, I received a purple heart in the service just for sitting through this film. Additionally, as I’m writing this review, the Internet Movie Database has Troll 2 listed as the second worst movie of all time. You can’t argue with the voice of the people.
As the story goes, the Waits Family switch houses for the summer with a family of creepy hillbillies in the rural town of Nilbog (get it? GET IT!?). Young Joshua, who has been communing with the spirit of his deceased grandfather, immediately notices that everybody in the town wants to eat them, yet the rest of his family remains blissfully ignorant. Soon, however, vegetarian goblins start showing up by the boatload and turn teenagers into vegetable matter for consumption. After about fifty attempts on their lives, dozens of midgets in bad costumes running around in broad daylight and their own son screaming “They’re gonna kill us!”, the Waits Family finally put two-and-two together and figure out that they’re going to die.
Troll 2, if that summary didn’t tip you off, is horrible. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t even live up to the promise of its own title; there isn’t a single troll in the entire movie. That’s right, a movie named “Troll 2” features nothing but goblins. To be fair, though, Troll 2 was originally filmed as a completely separate movie and wasn’t dubbed with the “Troll” moniker until distribution, as they figured that making it a sequel to a mediocre horror film might actually garner something approaching an audience. They tried the exact same thing with Troll 3, AKA “The Crawlers”, that very same year (1990). Some people never learn.
The acting in Troll 2 is beneath even the quality of an elementary school Thanksgiving pageant. Every line of dialogue feels like a rock-hard jab to the abdomen. But the horror of Troll 2 doesn’t just end with the acting, oh no, that would be far too humane. There are moments such as a “Flashdance” segment which more closely resembles someone having a seizure, or young Joshua Waits defeating a horde of goblins with the power of his bologna sandwich.
The special effects are…are…noticeably absent. Midgets, or possibly grade schoolers, run around in rubber masks and Ewok costumes, thrusting plastic spears at people. There’s even a scene that takes place in “the olden days”, where they chase a man through a forest to some really bad synthesizer rhythems. Then you have the evil witch woman who morphs into a “sexy” dame and arouses young men by nibbling on an ear of corn.
…I could go on like this.
Needless to say, there isn’t a second of this film that won’t hurt you in some fashion or another. The fact that this thing has been released on DVD before more deserving films should confirm the beliefs of Atheists everywhere. I feel rather redundant saying this, but Troll 2 gets an F. A colossal F. If there were any other letters synonymous with “failure” I’d give it them, too. Stay away at all costs if you value your sanity.
Grade: F^10