Sacha Baron Cohen is filming his follow-up to last year’s insanely popular “Borat” film…this time starring his third most popular character behind Ali G and Borat….a character named “Bruno”.
When Borat became such a big hit, Universal offered Cohen $42 million dollars to film the follow-up featuring the “Bruno” character. While he’d have been a fool not to take the deal, I don’t expect “Bruno” to fair as well as “Borat” did at the box office. From the sound of things, they’re basically making the same movie again with a different star character.
Bruno showed up at the Foreign Trade Association luncheon at the Omni Hotel in downtown Los Angeles yesterday, and signs were posted all around that a documentary was in the process of filmmaking, and according to Dark Horizons, some people were offered $20 to to sign a release and be interviewed for a documentary about American culture and world trade.”
We’ll see what happens, but I think Borat was like lighting in a bottle…and it’s hard to get lightning to strike twice…
Smokin’ Aces Direct to DVD Prequel Planned
Well, if anything shows you how much people are running from the “theatrical experience” with smaller films these days, it should be the success of Smokin’ Aces. The film bombed at the box office, but DVD sales have been so strong that director Joe Carnahan has been given the go ahead to make the prequel film he talked about during the press junkets in January.
“Universal wants to move ahead with a direct-to-video prequel of ‘Smokin’ and asked me if I wanted to Godfather the thing and make sure we did a really cool story” Caranhan told to Slashfilm.”The DVD numbers ‘Smokin’ Aces’ has done are astounding and they want to strike while the iron is hot. Whatever reluctance I have is alleviated by the fact that we can really do this balls out, hardcore prequel and not be constrained by ratings or any other puritanical MPAA bullsh*t. That I love.”
Shrek the Third – Review
I enjoyed the original “Shrek” well enough. I even enjoyed “Shrek II” almost as much. “Shrek the Third”, regrettably, is far from measuring up to the standards set by its predecessors. The humor comes across as stale and forced and otherwise predictable, which does little to honor the clever and innovative comedy of its older siblings. “Shrek the Third” isn’t up to the standard of its name and instead feels like one of the many Shrek “knock-offs” that began polluting theaters shortly after the original proved to be a hit, such as “Doogle” and “Happily N’Ever After”.
With the King of Far Far Away (John Cleese) about to croak, the reluctant Shrek (Mike Myers) is next in line to assume command. A simple ogre, all Shrek wants is to settle down back in his swamp with his lovely wife, Fiona (Cameron Diaz). To escape such dreaded responsibility, Shrek sets out to collect the only other heir to the throne, Arthur Pendragon (Justin Timberlake). Shortly before setting out, Fiona drops a bombshell on her poor husband: she’s expecting. As if Shrek’s problems weren’t bad enough, it would seem that young Arthur has no intentions of coming along willingly. And yet all this is only a slight nuisance when compared to the real threat, the villainous Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) and his legion of fairy tale villains who lay siege to the kingdom of Far Far Away in Shrek’s absence.
While my opening paragraph may paint “Shrek the Third” as the anti-Christ of animated film’s, it really isn’t all bad. While the humor is dreadfully subpar when compared to the standard the franchise set, the story and animation are actually quite good. The talented folks at Dreamworks outdo themselves this time around, presenting a very visually gorgeous film. The plot of Prince Charming and his hordes of fairy tale villains overthrowing the kingdom is also pretty fun. I actually found the scenes featuring the villains to be the most entertaining (especially Captain Hook). Merlin (played by Eric Idle) also got a few chuckles out of me.
The downside of the film is that aside from a few moments of inspired comedy, “Shrek the Third” just isn’t all that funny. I know humor is subjective and all that, but the movie relies on far too many hackneyed and predictable gags while riding on several call-backs and nostalgic bits from the previous films. These jokes are fine when used sparingly, but they unfortunately encompass most of the film’s comedy. You’ll find yourself more interested in watching the characters run around doing their thing rather than laughing yourself silly.
As far as the voice performances go, there isn’t a whole lot of new blood to speak of. The returning cast members deliver as well as they have in previous installments. Eric Idle portrays a humorous “New Age” Merlin and does it quite well, as he’s no new-comer to the world of voice acting. Justin Timberlake, on the other hand, does a rather poor job as the bratty Arthur. Not exactly being a follower of Timberlake’s, I don’t know how much experience he has in the field of voice acting, but he comes off rather forced and awkward. While I’m not the dude’s biggest fan, I don’t think he’s a terrible actor, he’s just not very good at doing voice overs.
“Shrek the Third” epitomizes the term “losing steam”, as you can really tell the franchise is about done. Not a very strong note to go out on, I must confess, but I’m sure it’ll clean-up at the box office anyway thanks to the inescapable marketing blitz and the overall power of the brand name.
Grade: C
Delta Farce – Review
You know, sometimes my job really sucks.
It’s not just my job to review the movies I want to see every weekend, it’s my job to review almost every movie every weekend, whether I want to see them or not. And anybody who says that sitting through a movie isn’t hard work has never had to sit through “Delta Farce”.
So Larry (Larry the Cable Guy), Bill (Bill Engvall) and Everett (DJ Qualls) joined the Army Reserves since they figured they’ll get a free weekend of goofing off once a month. However, their do-nothing dreams are shattered when Uncle Sam ships them off to Iraq to battle in the War on Terror. As fate would have it, these three stooges didn’t quite make it that far, being accidentally ejected from their plane over Mexico. Too dumb to know any better, the Redneck Regiment is quickly enlisted by the locals of a small village to liberate them from the oppression of a gang of gun-toting banditos. Mistaking them for Al-Queida (because all them mud-colored peoples looks the same, GIT R DONE!!), the group gets to work with hilarious results. But unbeknownst to them, their tough-as nails drill sergeant, Sgt. Kilgore (Keith David), has followed them to Mexico and when he finds them he’s gonna kill em.
I’ve seen some bad comedies this year (“Norbit”, “Kickin’ It Old Skool”), but I can say with confidence that “Delta Farce” is the worst comedy I’ve seen in my entire life. It goes beyond the realm of “not funny” to the point of just insulting your intelligence, much more-so than most redneck comedies. You’re $10 bucks would be better spent on a hobo under the one condition that he gives you the finger in exchange.
There are two types of comedy I hate, both in stand-up and film form: stale black comedy about how evil white people are, and dimwitted trailer trash redneck comedy. It shouldn’t be too difficult to decipher which category “Delta Farce” falls under. The minimal amount of effort was expended on both the writing and the acting, with recycled cliché gags that weren’t funny fifty years ago to lowest-common denominator bathroom humor polluting the screen. Writers Bear Aderhold and Tom Sullivan couldn’t have tried any less. If I hadn’t been paid to watch this movie I would’ve walked out in the first five minutes. Oh Hell, what am I saying? If I hadn’t been paid to watch this movie I wouldn’t have gone to see it in the first place.
And then there’s the absolute waste of one of my favorite actors, Keith David. Jeez, man, why did you do it? You were Spawn! You were Goliath! You kicked the snot out of Rowdy Roddy Piper! You escaped the clutches of the Thing! You’re better than this! Seeing one of your favorite actors being reduced to gags where he drinks urine and eats tobacco spit is never a pleasant site.
There’s absolutely nothing positive about this movie worth mentioning. I could warn you to avoid it like the plague, but good god, if the trailers didn’t convince you that this thing is a travesty then there’s little I could say to deter you from seeing it.
Grade: There is no letter low to enough to accurately rate this movie.
Kickin’ It Old Skool – Review
When I was in elementary school, every year we would have a mandatory dance unit in gym. Half the kids would be assigned square dancing and the other half would be assigned break dancing. By some bizarre twist of fate that can only be explained by our dimension overlapping with the Twilight Zone, I got stuck with square dancing six years in a row. By the sixth grade I was pleading with my gym teacher to let me do the break dancing unit, but there was just no reasoning with that man-hating dyke.
Well, after watching “Kickin’ It Old Skool” I have finally realized that break dancing is only one-tenth less humiliating than square dancing. I missed nothing.
In 1986, Justin was a twelve year-old break dancing prodigy. However, while attempting to perform a back flip, Justin landed on his neck and thrust himself into a coma for twenty years. Now, Justin (Jamie Kennedy) is awake and ready to bust a move. His heart throb from 86, Jen (Maria Menounos), is going to marry his arch nemesis, Kip (Michael Rosenbaum), and the bank is planning to foreclose on his parents’ house. In order to win the girl and the money, Justin will have to reunite with his childhood break dancing crew, the Funky Fresh Boys (Miguel A. Nunez Jr., Bobby Lee, Aris Alvarado) and win a break dancing tournament. There’s only one problem: they’re all 30-something losers and Justin’s brain is still that of a 12 year-old’s.
When going into a Jamie Kennedy movie, you expect a certain level of crap. However, Kennedy actually managed to top himself, this time. If Lion-o of the Thundercats were to see this movie he’d most likely call it “crap beyond crap”. If Optimus Prime had been in the theater with me, he probably would have shouted “more crap than meets the eye”. If John Matrix from “Commando” was sitting next to me, his final one-liner would have been “let off some crap, Bennett!” Okay, okay, I was reaching with that last one, but you get the idea, right?
When the 80’s nostalgia wave splashed down in the early 2000s, no one could predict that it would last this long. Well, it honestly hasn’t. It pretty much fizzled out a few years back. “Kickin’ It Old Skool” is trying to ride a trend that’s only still being followed by middle-aged toy collectors on the internet.
“Kickin’ It Old Skool’s” major problem, aside the fact that it should’ve been released four years ago to cash-in on the 80’s revival fad, is that it just isn’t funny. The movie’s idea of humor is “hey, look, a flux capacitor! Remember those!? From Back to the Future!?” It gets tiresome very quickly. The rest of “the funny” stems from Jamie Kennedy trying to act like a twelve year-old trapped in a thirty-two year-old’s body. The jokes which stem from that awkwardness are more embarrassing than funny. You know, the kind of jokes that make you scrunch down in your seat, look from side to side and wish you were anywhere else on the planet but there.
Even more embarrassing is the romance between Kennedy and Menounos. Kennedy’s character of Justin isn’t an endearing sort of “child trapped in a man’s body”, he’s a full blown ret-…”mentally handicapped person”. Watching Menounos making out with him in the back of KITT was just unsettling.
I will give the movie some credit; it featured the best random cameo by David Hasselhoff since “the Spongebob Squarepants Movie”.
“Kickin’ It Old Skool” is one of the worst comedies I’ve seen all year. Almost as bad as “Norbit”. Watch at your own risk.
Grade: F
Oh what the heck. One more. If Michelangelo from the Ninja Turtles had been in the theater with me, he would have shouted “Crapabunga!”