British parliamentarians in their silly attire. 

They come mostly in two or three categories: Corrupt or stupid, or – worst — both!

We’re talking about some of the world’s politicians (who’d probably do a better service as beauticians if not morticians) and lawmakers (who’d probably do a better service as lawnmowers).

This came to light following a recent survey in Britain that showcased that country’s most stupid laws.

The top 10 most stupid laws in Britain according to the survey are:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 percent)

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (7 percent)

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6 percent)

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (5 percent)

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (4 percent)

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet (4 percent)

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen (3.5 percent)

8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3 percent)

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armor (3 percent)

10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2 percent)

Don’t ask for an explanation on why the highly esteemed British lawmakers made these laws. For all you know, that’s against Stupid Law No. 11: Anybody who questions any British law will have his upper lip epoxied so that he’ll have a stiff upper lip!

But of course, American lawmakers would not be outdone by their Brit counterparts. Here are some of the most absurd laws in America:

1. In Alabama, it is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.

2. In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

3. In Louisiana, it is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

4. In New York, a fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking “at a woman in that way.” A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a “pair of horse-blinders” wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

5. Also, a license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.

6. Also, the penalty for jumping off a building is death.

7. In Texas, a recently passed anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

8. The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

9. In Florida, it is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

10. Also, men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

11. When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

12. And the most absurd of them all is this Floridan law: Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal!

Ouch! Boy, Floridan guys must really be sex-starved to even think of doing it with a porcupine!

His creations endeared him to millions of children and adults alike, but still he felt unloved by the people around him as he lived 77 years of his life in misery.

Such was the tragedy in the life of Charles Schulz, the creator of the beloved Peanuts comic strip. Good grief, Charlie, how could you be so cruel to yourself?

Charles Schulz 

A controversial new biography of the famous cartoonist depicted him as a shy, lonely man who used his child-like drawings to portray a life of deep melancholy.

The book is based on six years of research, unlimited access to family papers, more than 200 interviews and a close reading the 17,897 strips Schulz wrote and drew.

Biographer David Michaelis, author of “Schulz and Peanuts,” said Schulz was also a man who could neither forget nor forgive any slight or lonely moment.

Not for a minute did he believe that “Happiness was a warm puppy” — and he may not have believed in happiness at all.

“He thought it was impossible to draw a happy comic strip and actually he was fond of saying that ‘Happiness is a sad song,’” Michaelis said.

The cartoonist’s family says it is very unhappy with the 655-page portrait of Schulz, who died in 2000 at the age of 77, and say they do not recognize the man on display.

His son Monte Schulz told Newsweek magazine: “Why would all of us (children) gather at his bedside for three months if we hadn’t felt enormous affection for him?”

“Had we known this was the book David was going to write, we would not have talked to him.”

But they did talk to Michaelis and the writer stands by his findings. “Charles Schulz was a funny, warm and charming man with a great sense of calm and decency. But he also had a lifetime of being lonely, misunderstood and unhappy,” he said.

Michaelis says that to the day he died, Schulz could recall the terror of being separated as a boy from his mother on a crowded streetcar in his hometown of St. Paul, Minnesota.

“Schulz never stopped believing that he had been forsaken and would be left behind, that nobody cared,” wrote Michaelis.

“In his work, indifference would be the dominant response to love. When his characters attempt to love, they are met not just by rejection but by ongoing, even brutal indifference — manifested either by insensitivity or as deeply fatalistic acceptance.”

All of Schulz’s beloved characters — Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus, Snoopy — seem to have been torn from his life.

Michaelis says a close reading of the comic strips showed the most intimate details of Schulz’s private life, including a romance that led to the breakup of his first marriage.

He says the bossy Lucy was inspired by Schulz’s first wife, Joyce, who had no patience with his worrying and used to tell him during his bouts of melancholy, “Snap out of it.”

Charlie Brown had a big head because Schulz’s father continually warned him about getting a swelled head. Charlie Brown’s dreams of grandeur had no place in Schulz’s working class world.

Well, even if Schulz was all cold and blue inside, he made people feel good and happy as they read his comic strips. Rest in peace, Charles.