Just as a note, I watched this film in widescreen format with the original Japanese dialogue.
Now, I really don’t understand the distaste for this movie within the fandom. The webmaster over at Monster Zero said that the movie “suffered from a weak final half hour filled with non-sensical technobabble” (to paraphrase). Um…were we watching the same movie? Despite the awkward flying mechanics for Megaguirus the final battle between him and Godzilla was one of the finest.
It’s really a damn good fight scene, with Godzilla pitted against a very different adversary like nothing he’s ever faced before. Megaguirus is blessed with godlike speed, fast enough to dodge Godzilla’s atomic breath. He really just wails on Godzilla for the bulk of the fight; it’s painful. The whole time I was screaming (in my head) “C’mon Godzilla, knock that ****er down!” And after about twenty minutes of abuse, Godzilla finally decides he’s had enough and just takes Megaguirus DOWN! The actor inside Godzilla was excellent, without a doubt. Much better than the actor who played him in Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla (or was that a statue?). When Godzilla finally retaliates successfully it is a real treat. And when he burns Megaguirus to the ground you can tell he REALLY wanted it. A most awesome fight.
But I’m getting ahead of myself, here. The movie’s plot goes something like this: The Japanese Government decides that the best way to destroy Godzilla is trap him in a black hole. Seems practical-enough, so they build an artificial black hole-generator. However, when they test it the machine causes a prehistoric insect called a Meganulon (those things from the original Rodan, to all you hardcore Godzilla experts) to eventually mutate into a gigantic monster dubbed “Megaguirus”. And, of course, he and Godzilla throw down.
I also have to say, I really liked the pacing of this film. It was fast, real fast. They decided not to waste the film with piddley human drama and just make it all about the monsters. And isn’t that WHY we watch Godzilla movies?
The Meganulons terrorize citizens of Tokyo in true Slasher-fashion. Indeed, parts of the movie seem like they came straight from a horror movie; there’s plenty of gratuitous gore and violence. Actually, it sort of reminded me of Godzilla vs. Destroyah and those 10-foot tall Destroyah creatures that stalked the SWAT team down inside the office building.
And by the way, this is the type of human drama I like to see in a Godzilla movie. The humans shouldn’t try to steal the show away from the monsters, they aren’t the reason I’m watching the movie. So many Godzilla films are almost ruined by really boring human drama that just drags and drags and drags (“Terror of Mechagodzilla”, for instance). This one moves at lightning quick pace and is very well acted. I actually finished the movie liking Kudo quite a bit, something I usually don’t feel about the humans (they’re different in every Godzilla film, why should I care about them?).
I really don’t understand the negative feedback given to this film in the Godzilla community. It is very good, and the second best of the Millenium series, in my honest opinion (“Giant Monsters All-Out Attack” reigns as my favorite).
But no film is without its flaws. The first appearance of Megaguirus is without a doubt one of the most painful moments I’ve ever experienced watching a Godzilla film. Why? I could see the freaking STRINGS! And I saw them TWICE! It’s 2004, people! This shouldn’t be happening! Megaguirus’ flying mechanics are quite ugly throughout his role in the film; you know that “it just wouldn’t work that way”. Megaguirus is a very well designed kaiju, though. He’s wonderfully gruesome in appearance and really looks like a monster out of a horror movie (such was the director’s intent, I’m sure).
Anyway, I give this film a solid B. Definately one of the better Godzilla films I’ve seen, and certainly one of the better installments in the Millenium series.
Grade: B
Mission: Impossible III
When I went to see this movie, the only expectation I brought into the theater with me was “It can’t possibly be worse than Mission: Impossible II”. And not only was it better then M:I2, it was A LOT better than M:I2!
This third installment in the franchise carries on the story of Ethan Hunt, member of the Impossible Mission Force. Ethan comes out of retirement to rescue a friend from enemy hands, and again to get revenge on international super villain, Davien. However, once Davien escapes the clutches of the I.M.F., he wreaks a terrible vengeance on Ethan’s newly-acquired family. Ethan has to obtain a nuclear device called “the Rabbit’s Foot” for Davien if he wants his wife back with all her pieces. But the mission might prove impossible (tee hee) once Ethan is branded a traitor by the I.M.F. and has to steal the Rabbit’s Foot while avoiding capture by his former teammates.
M:I3 is honestly everything the hackneyed, clichéd, derivative John Woo garbage of M:I2 wasn’t. This movie not only has action, but has an engaging story, numerous twists and turns, a collection of impressive actors (Laurence Fishburne and Simon Pegg in a movie together!?) and some of the most clever infiltration sequences that only a Mission: Impossible title can give you.
This installment throws a few curveballs at you, as well. After a few of the precisely-planned, immaculate plots Ethan and the I.M.F. pull-off, things go a little different. Once the clock starts counting down on the life of Ethan’s wife you see exactly what the I.M.F. can be like when they have to do a job quick and dirty. It’s impressively resourceful, as one would expect from Mission: Impossible, but not the typical perfectly-calibrated caper we’re used to.
This movie does have its faults, to be fair. While an extremely fun action movie, M:I3 is still…just another action movie. Not a bad one, not a completely forgettable one, but still nothing particularly special that will be talked about for years. In a couple months, I’m sure most audience members will forget they ever saw it.
And while the movie is action-packed, don’t expect anything too original from the script. Now, this is no “Ripped directly from a Saturday morning cartoon because I have zero brain cells” kind of predictable trash, like in John Woo’s installment, but you’re more-than-likely going to be able to guess most of the plot twists if you pay even a little attention.
Also, although I was arguing with myself over mentioning this or not, a lot of people are going to be turned-off of this movie due mostly to Tom Cruise’s less-than-respectable actions here in the real world.
If Tom Cruise’s character as a human being is enough to keep you from seeing this movie, then I suppose there isn’t much I can say to convince you to see it. However, if you’re capable of separating Tom Cruise the Person from Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt, then I recommend this movie for a good, fun, possibly forgettable but completely entertaining evening.
Grade: B-
Dragonball Z movie 3: “Tree of Might”
My personal favorite of all the Dragonball Z movies, and certainly one of the best in the series, “Tree of Might” is bitter-sweet in a way. Sweet, in that the movie is so good, but bitter in that it marks the end of an era for Dragonball Z. But I’ll get to that in a minute.
In “Tree of Might”, the evil space-faring Saiyan trouble-maker, Turles, has brought his gang of thugs to Earth. Their intention is to use the Earth and all its life-force to grow the Tree of Might. The Tree of Might is a colossal shrub which, once full-grown, reaches high up into the stratosphere. The tree bears fruit which concentrates all the life-force and energy of the whole planet. By eating the fruit, one becomes nearly invincible. Well, Goku and his friends aren’t particularly happy about their planet being left a withered husk, and quickly have a showdown with Turles.
“Tree of Might” marks the end of a few eras in the Dragonball Z saga. Firstly, this is the last of the movies dubbed by the phenomenal Ocean Group. This also happens to be some of their best work. Second, this is the last movie before the introduction of the Super Saiyan concept, which much to my dismay, would go on to become 99% of Dragonball Z’s focus. Finally, and this is one of the reasons I like the movie so much, it’s a great “farewell” for the non-Saiyan heroes of the series that we’d come to know ever since the original Dragonball.
After “Tree of Might” (or, if you go by the TV series, the Garlic Jr. saga) all these original supporting characters would be gradually shoved into the background to the point of becoming completely obsolete, or being reduced to painful comic relief, all for the sake of introducing more Super Saiyans.
This movie gives Yamcha, Chao-Tzu, Tien, Piccolo and Krillen one last chance to shine as effective, powerful warriors. Sure, Goku saves the day in the end, but that’s to be expected. Never-the-less, each character gets at least one or two scenes to really show off their clever special moves. Yamcha’s “Power Shot” was always one of my favorites, if only for its visual flare, and we get to see it one last time. True, Piccolo and Krillen do manage to hang on as cast members for most of the Dragonball Z series, but in Krillen’s case, he becomes so weak in comparison to the Saiyans that he is reduced to being nothing more than a joke (“Brolly’s Second Coming” is particularly terrible). Piccolo manages to stick around as a fighter, but nothing particularly effective when compared to the other Saiyans.
It’s also great that all these classic Dragonball characters got to show up in the Ocean Group’s last movie, as it gives us one last chance to hear all the characters’ voices. Yamcha always had a voice that was ten times more badass than the actual character, while Tien wound-up with a humorously stereotypical kung fu movie-voice. I’ve said it before, but I’ll repeat it here, I really wish Ocean Group had managed to hang in there through at least movie 6. Brian Drummond’s completely psychotic voice for Vegita was one of the most impressive parts of the Ocean Group’s dub of the TV series, and it’s a crying shame they didn’t make it to any of the movies featuring that character. I’d really liked to have heard loco-Vegita without the embarrassing restraints of television censorship.
As far as the plot goes, it isn’t as inspired as “The World’s Strongest”, but its creative-enough for one to look past the tired “Alien shows up to fight Goku for some reason” story. Regardless, it gave us a chance to see Gohan transform into his freaky giant ape form and wreck Goku’s s***. Toei’s animation for this movie is particularly dark, and Ape-Gohan looks magnificently evil.
Although “The World’s Strongest” is the best movie in the series, “Tree of Might” is my personal favorite as it’s a nice finale to the “classic” days of Dragonball. It gets a B+, as far as Dragonball Z movies are concerned.
Grade: B+
X-Men 3: the Last Stand
A Co-Op Critics Review!
Player 1: One Pumped Ninja
Accuracy and faithfulness are two words that matter when it comes to adaptations. After all, who wants to see a black Catwoman or a hermophroditic Godzilla or organic web-shooters? I sure don’t give a crap. But people do and they tend to be rabid fans who freak out the patrons in their local bookstores with their rants of continuity and why Phoenix is an alien force from another planet and not a mutation or dual entity. Don’t get me wrong, I think there is a time and place to do that type of thing. It’s called “never.”
Instead, what these people should be focused on is “precision.” Accuracy and faithfulness are criticisms that should be levelled towards movies of great importance such as historical epics, biographies, documentaries, and Rambo. These are the films that will immediately be taken hand-over-fist by everyone, not just the people who have a vested interest in what they want this movie to deliver. Those who know nothing about the movie may even take in the movie’s 2-hour lesson as a veritable fact: that’s why you want the lesson to be more worthwhile than a college lecture. Precision, on the other hand, differs from accuracy and faithfulness because adaptations of fiction necessitate deviations from the core material. The entire reason why you’d have an adaptation is either 1) because the people involved want to see THEIR version onscreen or 2) because a movie is the prime way to give tangible reality to a popular media that has captured the minds of its audience. In either instance, the tangible world of the film serves as an imperfect vehicle for the not-yet-constructed idea: fellas, it isn’t going to be accurate. But for what it’s worth, you hope it’s precise enough to make sense in its own right.
So it comes down to Brett Ratner’s X-Men 3: The Last Stand. What works and what doesn’t?
What works is how well Brett Ratner grabbed the reigns of the X-Men carriage and took it to Dodge City without straying from the formula that Singer had utilized in the previous films. It isn’t an accurate film but as we mentioned before (to those paying attention), accuracy is a ridiculous concept in this light. Without spoiling anything, I will say this much: Jean Grey comes back from the dead as the ultra-Carrie-fied multiple-personality firebrand known as the Phoenix and, before the end of the film, two other prominent X-Men take a dirt nap. Late at night, if you listen really carefully, you can hear the sound of damned screaming fanboys coming from your local theater. Yes, people were mad that the Phoenix wasn’t an alien from the outer reaches of the universe. No, I’m not kidding for those of you who have never read an X-Men comic. Yes, Cyclops gets about 2 minutes of screentime. But guess what? For the breakneck pace of the script and the time constraints of the movie, it certainly works.
Warren Worthington III (Ben Foster) is scared because his dad’s developed the cure for mutants and really, really wishes his boy would take the cure. Magneto (Ian McKellen) is mad because the thought of a mutant cure is insulting to him. Xavier (Patrick Stewart), Storm (Halle Berry), and Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) freak out because it turns out Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) is alive and Cyclops (James Marsden) stepped out for fresh air and never came back. Bobby Drake (Shawn Ashmore) is caught in a high-school love triangle between the whiny Rogue (Anna Paquin) and the 12-year old Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page). Beast (Kelsey Grammer) is blue! That’s the plot in as best sense as I can make. With all that’s going on within the hour and forty five minutes of screentime that the movie spans through, you can expect that plot and character development would be stretched pretty thin. And it IS. With little time to actually focus on a particular dilemma and no time at all to stop and care about anybody, Ratner and his team are able to kill off scores of mutants without the audience really giving a flip (or flipping out when fans find out how easily their favorite nerd heroes are whacked).
But in its place, Ratner has a forcefully driven movie that relies on speed and effects that easily outmatched the purely utilitarian, practical usage of mutant powers that made the first 2 films oh-so-clever. No: here, for the first (and maybe not last) time we get to see mutant versus mutant in a handful of the greatest geeky free-for-all fisticuffs ever to be lifted from comic to screen. Storm does her twirly thing and fights off Matrix-rejects with lightning, Iceman and Pyro (Aaron Stanford) finally go at it with ice and fire, and Magneto gets to crumple cars and rip out bridges in the most impressive display of his magnetic powers yet. It’s the feast of the senses that we didn’t quite get in the first too installments.
Still, something is lacking in the plot department. It’s incredibly watered down and does not leave you with the emotional punch to the gut that the good staple of Marvel movies usually does. But that’s not the fault of accuracy: that’s just the fault of the movie’s attempt to get as much done as possible. As a whole, X-Men 3: The Last Stand serves its purpose as the front-runner of the 2006 summer blockbuster season and as an adequate installment to the series. It barely passes as a worthwhile conclusion to the series, however… but since there’s a definite possibility for a sequel and spin-offs, it doesn’t have to be.
Acting: B
Aesthetics & Entertainment: A-
Storyline: B-
Recommendability: B+
Player 2: DrSpengler
So what’s the best way to describe “X3”? “Better than the first movie, not as good as the second movie”? Perhaps. “Short on character-development, brimming-over with action”? I suppose. “Really fun movie with tons of comic book fanwank”? Absolutely.
Before I get too far ahead, the plot is like so; the evil Magneto, Master of Magnetism, is gradually forming a new Brotherhood of Mutants. Meanwhile, the Worthington Corporation has developed a cure for the genetic mutation which occurs in mutants. Magneto is none-too-pleased and plans an all-out assault on mankind. His secret weapon? The recently reborn Jean Grey, or as she’s calling herself now, the Phoenix. So the X-Men need to stop Magneto from doing something awful and hopefully turn Phoenix back into Jean.
The plot sounds more complex than it really is (if it even sounded complex at all). The movie is structured like a Saturday morning cartoon, mostly going from one fight to the next, with scenes not transitioning with much cohesiveness and characters never really breaking out of their comic book template. And some don’t even fulfill their template at all (sorry, Colossus). Yet, beneath that seemingly major set-back, is a fun comic book movie that kicks the crap out of the likes of Daredevil, Elektra and The Hulk.
While several major cast members of the previous two films are done away with rather early in the movie, they are “replaced” by several new Mutants with enough charisma to keep you in your seat. Kelsey Grammer’s rendition of the Beast is so spot-on it’ll bring a tear to every fanboy’s eyeball (especially when he says a certain catchphrase). Angel probably comes out the weakest of the bunch, never really accomplishing anything or even interacting with the X-Men for more than a few lines. Kitty Pryde, however, is an entertaining character to watch and her relationship with Iceman adds a bit more romantic drama, considering he’s supposed to be hooked-up with Rogue.
And on the villain side, we have the likes of Juggernaut, portrayed by Vinnie Jones, who does a much better job than you could ever possibly expect. However, like Sabertooth in X1 and Lady Deathstrike in X2, all Juggernaut’s personal history with any of the X-Men is wiped clean. He’s mostly there for visual entertainment, and his game of “hide and seek” with Kitty Pryde at the very end is one of the most entertaining parts of the movie.
As for you die-hard comic book fanboys, there’s plenty of references to chew on. Minor cast members and supporting characters from the comic either make cameos, walk-ons, fill-in group shots or get a few lines of dialogue. That includes some particularly obscure ones, too. There’s also plenty of catch-phrases, both from the comics and from a certain internet phenomenon, that are worked into the movie a great deal better than “It’s clobberin’ time” was in the Fantastic Four movie. And, on top of all that, you’ve got mainstays like the Danger Room and the Fastball Special to keep you entertained. Some fanboys will no doubt moan and bitch about Kitty not being called Shadowcat, and others will moan and bitch that she’s not called Sprite, while still more will moan and bitch that no one suggested she be called Ariel like they did in the comics. But it’s best to ignore these types of “fans”.
Is X3 a great movie? No, X2 was a great movie. Is X3 a lot of fun and packed with comic book references and Mutant action? Correct answer. There are some definite leaps in logic and some poor plot choices in regards to some of the characters, but nothing to ruin the movie completely or bring it down to “Fantastic Four”-level.
X-Men 3: the Last Stand is worthy of a B-. Yeah, it might’ve been better if Bryan Singer had directed it instead of Brett Ratner, but he did a decent-enough job and there’s enough material present to keep most anyone entertained on some level.
Grade: B-
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
The previous film, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, was in many ways the quintessential pirate-movie; working in all the clichés and expectations of a pirate-theme but wrapping them around an engaging plot with magnificent actors, inspired directing, near-flawless special effects and Johnny Depp. Well, expect more of the same with this installment. Dead Man’s Chest takes all the pirate elements and clichés left out of the last film, breathes new life into them and turns them into movie-gold. Who would’ve thought the lead singer of the Monkees could be so badass?
As the story goes, William and Elizabeth Turner are set to be executed for helping Cap’n Jack Sparrow escape the hangman’s noose at the end of the last film. The head of the East India Trading Company offers William a deal: their lives if he can bring back Cap’n Jack’s compass. At the same time, Cap’n Jack is visited by the spirit of Boot-strap Bill Turner (William Turner’s pirate daddy). It would seem that Jack sold his soul to Davy Jones in exchange for 13 years of being Captain of the Black Pearl. Well, time’s up and Davy Jones wants to collect. To ensure he receives him, Jones unleashes the terrible Kraken to hunt Sparrow to the ends of the Earth. Well, the only way out of that mess is to find the key to a chest. Then they gotta find the chest-itself. THEN they gotta use whatever’s in the chest to take down Davy Jones. The cast members gradually reunite along the way and we’re treated to another pirate epic.
So that’s the basic premise in a nutshell, yes. But you get all that AND cannibals, voodoo witches, sword fights-galore, barnacle-encrusted freaks and even a cameo from one of the Street Sharks, desperate for work. This film is totally Jawsome.
While all the elements serve to carry the story quite well, what really keeps the audience engaged is the cast of characters and their interactions with one-another. Needless to say, there’s the ever charismatic Cap’n Jack Sparrow stealing the show at every turn with his bizarre sense of humor, but there’s more than just Johnny Depp to keep you entertained. Two of the enemy pirates from the first movie are back and hook-up with the Black Pearl’s crew (you’ll know em when you see em) and they deliver a great number of comedic bits. The entire cast seems to hate each other one minute and love each other the next, depending on the circumstances.
The whole movie has a sense of humor to it which balances out some of the frightening and grotesque elements, much like in the last movie. The Flying Dutchman’s demonic crew are quite startling, as are scenes of prisoners rotting alive or having their eyeballs plucked out by ravenous crows. The movie can be extremely dark and violent, perhaps too much so for young children. Yet, as I type this, I remember all the kids in the theater with me cheering in joy through-out the whole film; laughing at all of Jack Sparrow’s antics. So perhaps I don’t give kids enough credit when it comes to gore and monsters.
The special effects are magnificent. Davy Jones looks like Cthulhu in a pirate outfit and you totally buy it. The Kraken is a sight to behold, as it rips barges to pieces and plucks sailors by its tentacles and drops them into its gaping maw. The Kraken suffers from the only instances of sketchy special effects (with a few blatant blue-screen moments), but it’s really only a minor complaint at the most.
This movie just has so much working in its favor I find it hard to select any problems. I suppose my only disappointment was the lack of resolution to the plot; as this movie is the “Empire Strikes Back” installment of the trilogy in more ways than just sequence. I won’t give anything away, but the ending will leave you feeling a bit empty. Anxious for the next movie, yes, but slightly unsatisfied as the plot remains unresolved.
Over all, the Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest is just as energetic, clever and entertaining as the original, but now with 100% more blowfish-people. It’s definitely a fitting sequel; this franchise is going to be the most incredible pirate epic of all-time.
Grade: B+