A Co-Op Critics Review!
Player 1: One Pumped Ninja
When trailers for Paul Greengrass’s United 93 were first shown in theaters, people booed and shouted “too soon!” When the movie was finally screened for critics nationwide, the acclaim for the film was incredibly positive. Despite the majority opinion that the movie was not preachy nor editorial, most critics (almost certainly liberal) found the space in prose to sneak in their own little, not-so-subtle commentaries about our current politics. And they blame the Bush administration for negating the meaning of 9/11! You ask any sane American “who would be most likely to boo a movie tribute to 9/11?” and it’s a guarantee that they’re not going to say “a conservative.” Conservatives have been trying to preserve the catalystic day of September 11 since day 1. While it is certainly sickening to mention it constantly and as an excuse for the most tangential of decisions, it is no different than a Christian acting a certain way in memory of some guy who got the crap kicked out of him 2,000 + years ago. As a post 9/11 culture caught in the rat race of the information superhighway, we’ve become overly desensitized to WHY we do things. Why we’re in a war, what passions are behind it, what ideologies are at stake, and why we just can’t “move on” from an event that happened 5 years ago. That’s like trying to “move on” from Pearl Harbor and throwing a fit everytime someone mentions it (though I can understand why no one liked that Michael bay film from years ago). It’s incredibly indicative of the current American mindset and our quickness to revert to a mode of comfortability and detachment.
United 93 is a wake-up call to all that.
The movie is a masterpiece of editing, a rationally made movie employing the use of fly-on-the-wall points of view, jerky camera movement, and a relatively unknown cast of characters. Its progression is fluid and brilliantly timed with every single scene serving a function. The film begins with the morning events of September 11 as passengers board their planes, wait in terminals for their flights to lift off, and crew members with their rolling suitcases making their way through the airport. Oh, and a couple of Muslims shaving their bodies and chanting prayers to Allah in the comfort of their hotel room. No conversations at the beginning of the film are meaningful, foreshadowing of the horror to come, or intended to develop character in the strict traditional cinematic sense. Instead, it is the very plainness of their dialogue that makes the characters so real: they talk like you and I. They sleep in the airport, check their phones, read their books, and discuss their day and their jobs. They can’t wait to go home. They hear the food is supposed to be good. These are the things that make the audience empathize with them as United 93 takes off.
When the first plane hits, it is nothing more than a radar blip that vanishes off the screen. No one knows what’s going on and ground control and the military are at a loss, trying desperately to coordinate their information. We, as the audience, know what’s wrong… and it’s undeniably reflexive of what happened on that day as well. None of us saw the first plane hit, but we heard about it from friends, teachers, coworkers, family, and classmates. With televisions turned on, we were there to witness the second plane hit. And it’s the same in the movie, too. All information ceases for an uncomfortable handful of seconds as every eye looks up at the New York skyline to see a plane’s rapid decent into the second tower. When the plane hits (taken directly from the actual footage), you hear no noise… only to be followed with what’s on everybody’s mind: “HOLY SHIT.” And it’s not funny, it’s real. This isn’t a Tom Clancy movie where we can laugh at a character’s reaction in that sense. This is something we all think and it’s unnerving to see life unveil before us a second time, this time as a film based on what truly happened to us on that day. We are automatically thrusted back to September 11 and the film never lets go from there.
As the Muslims on United 93 take over, no P.C. action saves them nor justifies them from their action. They scream in Arabic, they scream Allah’s name, they murder innocent people for glory of their religion. The passengers are scared into submission and you, as an audience member, are there with them. The camera is shaky as we see blood from stabwounds and the frantic movement of the passengers to make their way to the back of the plane. It is at this moment that we never see ground control again: you are there, on United 93, with those poor souls from now till the end of the movie. You have no control in this flying deathtrap. You’re there to watch them cry, watch them make their final calls to their loved ones, and see the unfolding of the choice to make one last move to rise against their oppressors even if it kills them. You see both sides pray, one to the Christian God and one to Allah… and it makes no attempt to equalize the two. They are not the same objective God but two totally different ideologies at war with each other. When our protagonists rise up, it is not painted in the same romanticized flare of reluctancy or understanding that you see in films such as Schindler’s List. It is painted in the most plain yet understandable of dialogue: heroics are simply not necessary to define the moment.
As my friend said after leaving the theater, “that was definitely the most not-fun movie to watch.” And she’s right, it’s not. It’s raw, powerful, and immediately depressing. But it’s also the most important movie, historically, of our generation as a post 9/11 culture. It is also a morally uplifting tale that details the wide range of human emotion in the face of adversity and acknowledges the triumph of humanity as a collective entity over the emotive constraint of fear. And it shows that we are in a war of ideals with the passengers of United 93 being the first to win this pyrrhic victory.
Acting: A+
Aesthetics & Entertainment: A+
Storyline: A+
Recommendability: A+
Player 2: DrSpengler
Following on the heels of “Stay Alive”, “Slither” and “Silent Hill” comes this year’s next big horror movie; “United 93”! Of course, we all remember the heart-pounding teaser trailer we saw in the theaters which had our hairs standing on end. The black screen, the disembodied voices…
“Did the plane just turn? Did it just turn!?”
”Oh my God, was that a gun?”
”Are we being hijacked!?”
”ALLAH ACKBAR! LALALALALALALA!!!”
”What the Hell was that!?”
And if you thought the teaser was frightening, then that’s only the beginning. Nothing can prepare you for the terror, the gore and the insanity of “United 93”!
As the story goes, four mischievous Gremlins invade an airplane full of cell-phone gossiping yuppies and gradually turn reality (and the plane) upside down with their rascally hijinks. But these Gremlins are no whacky funsters; they’re actually being controlled by dark forces from beyond, who are instructing them to rain Hell down upon the heads of humanity! The passengers of United 93 have to learn to put aside their racial differences (the black comedian making jokes about white stereotypes was HILARIOUS, especially the way they paired him up with a boring Caucasian business-man) and band-together to thwart these menacing monstrosities. But secrets are revealed about the origins of these strange creatures who talk just like Q-Bert, and you won’t be sure who’s truly good and who’s truly evil.
This is the most original horror movie of the year, packed with action, scares and disturbing monsters. It’s also a super-charged action movie in the vein of “Die Hard 2”, “Air Force One” and “Con Air”. There are explosions a minute and gore a-plenty. This movie has it all!
And it’s not just about the action or the scares, either. The villains of the movie aren’t your typical bad guys. Much like the Joker and Batman, these Gremlins are revealed to actually have been created by the VERY enemy they’ve sworn to destroy! That’s right! Democracy birthed these hideous fiends and now they seek to destroy their creators! With moments such as the Gremlins calling their families to tell them they love them, or praying in their beds, or just interacting intelligently amongst themselves, you truly feel sorry for these characters and wonder who the REAL monsters of the movie are.
It should also be noted that this movie takes place sternly within the Star Wars universe. They aren’t obvious about it at first, but when the Gremlin hijackers start screaming “Ackbar!” into their radios over and over again, you finally realize that they’re not Gremlins at all; they’re Rebel warriors under the command of Admiral Ackbar, fighting the tyranny of the evil Galactic Empire! After that you finally understand that THEY’RE the heroes and the people on the plane, trying to scald them with hot coffee, and the people on the ground, desperate to blow them out of the sky, are really nothing but Storm Troopers out of uniform! Additionally, you’ll cheer when they show the Death Star III getting blown to smithereens by Luke and Lando. I’ll tell you what, I never saw that one coming.
It takes a deep, sophisticated, truly inspired movie to take the villains you’ve sworn to hate, Gremlins hell-bent on mass-murdering thousands of “innocent” people, and tell you that they have feelings to, that they’re just as human as you and me, that they’re OUR responsibility because WE created them, and that we should feel sorry for them and the way they died. Simply brilliant.
This was a moving, terrifying, well-rounded horror epic which belongs on any fan’s shelf right next to “Night of the Comet”, “House of the Dead” and “Rock & Roll Nightmare”. On a scale of 0 points to 100 points, I give it 60 Thousand Gazillion! See it now!
Grade: Cowabunga!
A Scanner Darkly
Now here’s a movie actually worth braving the horrors of the Art House Theater to go see. A Scanner Darkly is a very bizarre tale about drug-addiction which takes the audience about as close as they can get to a wacky acid-tripping experience without the threat of police brutality.
In this story, Keanu Reeves plays Bob Arctur, a normal guy who’s working undercover for the FBI in the future of 7 years from now. To mask their identities, he and his coworkers wear “scramble suits” which are constantly fluctuating between appearances of millions of different human beings, giving you no clear look at any one face. Bob lives in a house with 2 burn-outs, addicted to a drug called “Substance D”, which the FBI is desperate to destroy. It’s Bob’s job to monitor his roommates, interact with them (which even includes taking the drug, himself) and get the dirt on Substance D. However, to complicate matters, the FBI thinks that Bob Arctur is the head-honcho supplier of substance D but they don’t know that the guy they’ve hired to monitor Bob Arctur is in reality, Bob Arctur. But Bob Arctur isn’t the Bob Arctur they think he is but at the same time Bob Arctur, the real Bob Arctur, doesn’t really care about what kind of Bob Arctur the FBI thinks he is because all Bob Arctur cares about is getting wasted.
Those last few sentences probably parallel the coherency of this movie pretty accurately, as it does its best to extend the “drug-tripping” experience onto the viewer. The roto-scoping animation helps exponentially in that regard and gives the whole film a dizzying surreal effect. And I do mean dizzying. Everything is either constantly changing (the scramble suits are insane) or constantly moving, even stationary objects, which throws the viewer slightly off-balance for the whole movie. The film also throws in plenty of “WTF”-moments of the deeply creepy and insane variety, just to keep the audience scratching at their noggins. A Scanner Darkly fits perfectly in that “kinda scary drug-tripping movie” genre along with the likes of Videodrome, Naked Lunch and Jacob’s Ladder, though perhaps a bit more tame.
The movie has an excellently-assembled cast. Keanu Reeves is much easier to stomach in roto-scoped animated form, though honestly, who can play a sleepy burn-out junkie better than Keanu? Robert Downy Jr. plays one of the more entertaining characters, though you might get him confused with Jeff Goldblum for a minute, as he mimics the speech-pattern and mannerisms of the guy in question. Wynona Ryder plays her part well, though it could’ve been practically any actress in her place and it really wouldn’t have mattered. You’ve also got Woody Harrelson and Rory Cochrane as two other Substance D-addicted losers, who along with Robert Downy Jr., form the funniest aspect of the movie.
The humor in the film, much like everything else, is very bizarre and will get you laughing on a “What the Hell…”-level. The movie isn’t expressly a comedy, so don’t go in expecting a laugh-a-minute. But when the humor strikes it hits dead-on. A Scanner Darkly, as you can probably guess, is a tale of the dangers of drug-addiction and tries to invoke sympathy from the audience on behalf of junkies everywhere. The movie claims that it’s not always the junkie’s fault they’re hopelessly addicted, it depends largely on the circumstances, and that their addiction will be punishment-enough, in the end. I suppose that’s true, really, but I still don’t feel like giving that skin-head down the street five bucks every weekend so he can support his meth habit.
The movie is extremely “artsy”, so right there you know it won’t appeal to everybody. The plot is intentionally confusing and the animation might cause problems for those with motion-sickness. A Scanner Darkly is mainly going to appeal to people who liked movies such as Naked Lunch and Videodrome, which isn’t a bad thing in any way. I’d recommend it, though only to people interested in this sort of thing.
Grade: B-
Mission: Impossible III
When I went to see this movie, the only expectation I brought into the theater with me was “It can’t possibly be worse than Mission: Impossible II”. And not only was it better then M:I2, it was A LOT better than M:I2!
This third installment in the franchise carries on the story of Ethan Hunt, member of the Impossible Mission Force. Ethan comes out of retirement to rescue a friend from enemy hands, and again to get revenge on international super villain, Davien. However, once Davien escapes the clutches of the I.M.F., he wreaks a terrible vengeance on Ethan’s newly-acquired family. Ethan has to obtain a nuclear device called “the Rabbit’s Foot” for Davien if he wants his wife back with all her pieces. But the mission might prove impossible (tee hee) once Ethan is branded a traitor by the I.M.F. and has to steal the Rabbit’s Foot while avoiding capture by his former teammates.
M:I3 is honestly everything the hackneyed, clichéd, derivative John Woo garbage of M:I2 wasn’t. This movie not only has action, but has an engaging story, numerous twists and turns, a collection of impressive actors (Laurence Fishburne and Simon Pegg in a movie together!?) and some of the most clever infiltration sequences that only a Mission: Impossible title can give you.
This installment throws a few curveballs at you, as well. After a few of the precisely-planned, immaculate plots Ethan and the I.M.F. pull-off, things go a little different. Once the clock starts counting down on the life of Ethan’s wife you see exactly what the I.M.F. can be like when they have to do a job quick and dirty. It’s impressively resourceful, as one would expect from Mission: Impossible, but not the typical perfectly-calibrated caper we’re used to.
This movie does have its faults, to be fair. While an extremely fun action movie, M:I3 is still…just another action movie. Not a bad one, not a completely forgettable one, but still nothing particularly special that will be talked about for years. In a couple months, I’m sure most audience members will forget they ever saw it.
And while the movie is action-packed, don’t expect anything too original from the script. Now, this is no “Ripped directly from a Saturday morning cartoon because I have zero brain cells” kind of predictable trash, like in John Woo’s installment, but you’re more-than-likely going to be able to guess most of the plot twists if you pay even a little attention.
Also, although I was arguing with myself over mentioning this or not, a lot of people are going to be turned-off of this movie due mostly to Tom Cruise’s less-than-respectable actions here in the real world.
If Tom Cruise’s character as a human being is enough to keep you from seeing this movie, then I suppose there isn’t much I can say to convince you to see it. However, if you’re capable of separating Tom Cruise the Person from Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt, then I recommend this movie for a good, fun, possibly forgettable but completely entertaining evening.
Grade: B-
Halloween (1978)
Whenever you come across a list of “essential” horror movies, Halloween is typically right there at the top. And with good cause, too. Not only did it bring the slasher genre to life (Black Christmas had been overlooked by the mainstream) but it’s simply a damn good horror movie on all fronts.
The plot is simple-enough. Incarcerated lunatic, Michael Myers, escapes from Smith’s Grove psychiatric hospital and makes his way back to his hometown, Haddonfield. When Michael was only a boy, he brutally murdered his older sister at random. Now he’s come home. However, his doctor, Loomis (Donald Pleasance) is hot on his trail. Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is babysitting that Halloween night in Michael’s old neighborhood and she and all her friends fall victim to the mask-wearing psychopath.
The synopsis may not sound very complex, but it’s the simplicity of the concept which makes the movie work so well. John Carpenter takes something so standard, and with his trademark use of sound and lighting, turns it into a horror masterpiece.
Carpenter’s use of light and shadow is possibly the best in his career. Michael materializes in and out of dark corners and shadows like a specter, leaving the audience never quite sure just where in the room he’s hiding; and it’s usually where you least suspect. This method of stalking from the darkness is enhanced by the movie’s theme of “the Boogeyman”; the childhood monster that lurks in closets and under beds. Michael Myers really does embody the concept of the Boogeyman from head to toe.
Then there’s one of my favorite elements from John Carpenter’s movies, the score. Back in the “classic” days of Carpenter’s career, the one thing you could always expect was a haunting electronic melody to provide a creepy atmosphere no other director could match. Carpenter’s Halloween theme is by far his most well-known work, and next to likes of Psycho, is possibly the most famous of horror movie themes.
Donald Pleasance and Jamie Lee Curtis, in two of their better roles, bring a welcome sense of professionalism to the movie, keeping Halloween above the typical scorn slasher movies receive from the general audience. Michael Myers (or as he’s credited, “the Shape”) is really the star of the show, however. One would never expect that a William Shatner mask could possibly be so scary. Apparently, Carpenter’s original intention was to use a clown mask; the repainted William Shatner mask was a last minute change. A change for the better, I’d say, as the blank, featureless face lends a completely different kind of unsettling appearance to the character.
Halloween is a horror movie that takes a number of elements and blends them together into virtual perfection. Definitely one of the “essentials” not just for horror fans, but for fans of any kind of cinema.
Grade: A
Saw 2: Review
I Saw Saw II
Saw (2004) introduced audiences to a fresher form of horror which amalgamated the suspense of a Hitchcock movie with down and dirty visuals and the use of a drop of torture to create a compellingly successful horror movie. It was sadistically violent yet excused itself through the plot premise of a man, Jigsaw, who wanted to make sure that his victims would leave his death traps with a new appreciation for life. It was satisfactory for people who want a little bit more substance with their horror and definitely gratifying for those just wanting to see blood and guts.
Saw II does not disappoint as it hitches on to where the previous film left off. The Jigsaw killer (Tobin Bell) is at it again, leaving conceited victims in escapable death traps to give them a taste of death in order that they may fight (and appreciate) their lives. This time, he has Detective Donnie Wahlberg’s son and Donnie is not a happy camper. Donnie finds Jigsaw and is freaking out the whole time as he watches his son on a computer, navigating haplessly through a house of horrors in an undisclosed location.
As before, we are introduced to a cadre of miscreants who have a bit more character to them than your run-of-the-mill horror movie kids who are expected to die. There is a reason why each character is chosen for Jigsaw’s experiment and each test of their longevity is crafted with them in mind. The movie takes a step forward from the previous Saw by actually revealing the Jigsaw character, his origins, his motives, and himself as a person. He is not as deliciously evil or complex as Hannibal Lecter but is definitely as tangible and memorable. And as before, there is a nice twist at the end that is not as shocking as the originally but still a catalyst for a Saw 3.
As with all horror movies, this is a film to be reserved for those who can take it and not for those of us who are faint of heart or don’t want that “I’m going to Hell” feeling after seeing it. For those that can see it, Saw II is appreciable in its own way and you’ll like yourself better afterwards. Jigsaw is pleased.
Grade: A