If marital infidelity has sent your perfect world crashing all over, take heart in the fact that many have gone before you and survived. Many went on to have successful relationships. Others achieved happiness without relying on intimate relationships. The most wonderful part of going through a crisis is seizing the chance to start over to have a better life. After the pain comes the opportunity to heal and be constructive in spite of the excruciatingly painful experience.
The words I say here are not mere products of research about the experiences of other people but mainly from the lessons learned from my personal experience. My cheating spouse made me feel the horrors of cheating and made me doubt my worth as a person and as a woman. His cheating made me question myself, of whether or not I was partly responsible for what he did, and of whether or not I could have prevented it from happening. I realized soon enough that he was ultimately responsible for his own actions and that realization enabled me to do what I had to do. I also realized that I should not be punishing myself for something that I had no control of.
Marriage is not something to be thrown out of the window at the slightest inconvenience. It is about a relationship that thought it could overcome all challenges in the hope of being together forever, thus the contract. It is often seen as a big failure if two people are unable to honor this contract.
If you catch your cheating spouse, you will have to go through the motions of anger, acceptance, forgiveness, and healing of damages brought upon by the betrayal. A person who has been cheated on by his/her spouse will find no closure in denying the truth and refusing to accept the consequences. Although humans have a penchant for causing troubles on themselves, this should not be cause to give up and waste your life. This is more so, if the troubles came not because or your own doing. We have more reasons to pull ourselves out of the hole and into the circle we call life.
There is so much more we can do than harp on past failures. It is not so much about what we cannot do without our cheating spouses, but what we can do now that we are free from the lies of infidelity.
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