In times of crisis, people have a tendency to flock to movies and other forms of entertainment that have themes that will make them laugh or just forget about the pressures of real life. With the global oil crisis affecting every single person on Earth (well, maybe not the Chinese) and food shortage a looming problem in the future, it’s quite justifiable that people would want to see a movie that would bring a smile to their faces.

One of the summer season comedy releases this year is The Love Guru. The movie stars Mike Myers and deals with the story of a “Hindu” love guru tasked to save the marriage of a Toronto Mapleleafs hockey player before it eventually ruins the team’s chances of winning the Stanley Cup. Yes, that’s the synopsis of the movie. If you think it sounds shallow and unfunny, well you’ve hit the nail right on the head.

People who were expecting the kind of gross but ultimately super-funny gags and sequences in Myers’ Austin Powers are in for a huge disappointment when they see this movie. It’s one of the unfunniest movies that I have seen in years (although that frigging Spartan movie gives this a run for its money). I’ve always considered Myers as a comic genius but in this particular outing, he falls flat on his face.

The basic problem is that the movie’s premise is just too shallow and revolves around making fun of cultural differences as the formula for the comedy, and that’s never a good source of comedy for longer than two minutes.

One thing that I’ve confirmed with this movie though is that Myers leaning more and more towards crude humor—toilet comedy if you may. The depiction of boogers, bodily functions and genitalia is just so juvenile. I’ve expected a little more from Myers in this movie because it’s been a long time since we’ve seen him on screen. But the guy has actually regressed.

And it’s not only his visual gags that are gross, even his puns suffer the same fate. Just like naming his teachers various names like Tugginmapuda. It’s not really funny AT ALL.

I don’t think I would be able to say this in an actual movie review but Jessica Alba’s meager talents are wasted here. They could’ve used a no-name actress and no one would’ve noticed. Justin Timberlake may be hitting his head for actually allowing himself to appear in this movie as it could really ruin his chances of establishing a movie career.

The only highlights of this movie for me are the well-placed cameos from Val Kilmer and Marishka Hargitay (which really is a good dig at Guru Pitka’s greeting of “Marishka Hargitay”) and Myers’ performance of 9 to 5, More Than Words and The Joker that were given a Bollywood bent. It’s the only signs here that Myers could still cook up something funny if he really, really tried hard enough.

As it is, this movie is just as memorable as the dung that Pitka’s pet elephant produces.

Rating: D-